


Nothing Left but the End

by Angelchexmex



Category: Naruto
Genre: All Disturbing Things Very Vague, M/M, Talking Only, kind of sad, mentions of child abuse, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 13:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3570650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelchexmex/pseuds/Angelchexmex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kyuubi has always had control of Naruto, but now Naruto knows this too. At the very end all Naruto wants is for his death to hurt, because if his death didn't hurt then was he ever really alive? Maybe Shikamaru can help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Left but the End

**Author's Note:**

> I have had absolutely no idea how to continue my other stories, I have so many ideas for later in the story but for the moment I just don't know how to connect them. I promise though I am working on them! For now enjoy this attempt at a new style of writing!

“Does it hurt?”

“Everything hurts.”

“Does it hurt?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember a time before I was this big. I went to the Academy only remembering being eleven or older, at least I think I did. I wrote about it a bit, they didn’t find all of my journals Shikamaru. You should teach them better.”

“I will.”

“Good Shikamaru, good. Because I wrote about it, the time before when I remembered being eleven and I wrote about before I was eleven too. I’ve killed hundreds haven’t I? I have each name written down with a date, but there aren’t enough. He says there  
aren’t enough. How many have I killed Shikamaru? Do you know? Because I think I enjoyed it.”

“A thousand, maybe more. No one knows for sure.” 

“But he does. He remembers every. Single. One. I dream about it sometimes, when I do sleep. Then when I wake up I shower for hours but it’s just not enough because water feels so different from blood. I can’t sleep because a bed feels nothing like a cooling corpse. There look at that Shikamaru! That woman there, yes the wife walking with her husband, is having an affair with that married man, the one who owns the dye shop. They’ve been at it for months, I know because she’s a vicious one. He brought me home for her once you know, watch her beat me and torture me. They both got off on it. They feel like a hero when they do it. Because they’re punishing the monster. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with hurting a monster is there?”

“No.”

“Then why are you crying Shikamaru? I can feel your tears you know. They’re cold against the back of my neck. And why are you holding onto me so tight? I won’t fall I promise. I always sit on the Hokage monument and I never fall. Oh don’t move Shikamaru! I like having you sitting behind me and holding me, at least I think I do. What does it feel like to want something? Is it like hunger? I used to want food sometimes, but I just had to go to sleep and I’d wake up full. I’d wake up bloody too, and in a different place but that’s okay. I learned my way around really quickly. Did you know there’s an underground passage from here to Ichiraku’s?”

“Yes. It’s for ANBU. They stopped using it when the ninja that went down there never made it back out.”

“Oh...do you think I did that? I might have. It was always so damp and dark down there, I never could remember why I was there. But it was warm down there, very warm. I wonder if that’s what a mother’s hug is supposed to feel like. I never had a mom you know, but that’s okay. I found other ways to keep warm. I’ve never had anyone touch me nicely before, except you. You always touch me softly.”

“It’s not supposed to hurt.”

“No, no, no. You’re the exception to the rule. Didn’t you ask me if it hurt? If it’s not supposed to hurt then why did you ask me that? You shouldn’t ask questions you know the answer too. “

“I’m sorry. You know how I am.”

“That’s okay, I forgive you Shikamaru. I forgive them too you know, the villagers, the shinobi too I suppose. Because they’re supposed to follow the Hokage right? And Minato made me a demon, so they were only following him. It’s okay, I understand. I forgive Sakura too, for not loving me and Sasuke for not wanting to be my friend. I forgive Kakashi for not training, Sasuke needed to survive more. I forgive you Shikamaru.”

“…” 

“Hey Shika, don’t cry. I forgive you remember?”

“I remember.”

“Then why are you crying? Does it hurt?”

“Everything hurts.”

“That’s what I said. But it doesn’t really hurt you know? Just an empty feeling, like I’m just going to float away. Do you think I could do that? Just float away from it all? I think I’d like that. I could sleep forever.”

“If anyone could find a way to live in the sky it would be you.”

“I want to be happy, I think. Should I want to be happy? Can I be happy?”

“You can be anything you want to be.”

“…I forgive you for lying Shika. You shouldn’t do it but you’re a shinobi so I forgive you. How long has Kurama had a hold of me? I don’t think I was ever really in charge. But I am now Shika, he’s not even whispering too me anymore.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“But it’s too late huh?”

“…”

“It’s okay you don’t have to say anything. I know why you’re here. Who did I kill this time?”

“Tsunade-sama, we found her in her office.”

“Oh, will you tell me what happened?”

“She didn’t put up a fight. We know she could have killed you if she really wanted to; she was the last of the Sannin. But she didn’t fight; there wasn’t thing out of place in the office other than her shredded body on the floor and an open window. Seventy-three pieces of her were made into a single word.”

“Shikamaru?”

“Yeah, you wrote Shikamaru using the Hokage.”

“She said I couldn’t love you and that we weren’t allowed to marry. I didn’t like that, and I don’t think Kurama did either.”

“I’m a clan head. I have to have kids.”

“Do you not want to marry me? I’m sorry I’m a monster. I never meant to be you know.”

“…I would marry you in a heartbeat.”

“But Danzo isn’t happy. Danzo is never happy with me Shikamaru. But that’s okay. I forgive him too, and I forgive you Shikamaru, for what you’re about to do. I can feel the kunai in your hand Shika, even if I’m not looking down at it.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Knowing you’re going to kill me? No, no it doesn’t hurt.”

“I didn’t think it would.”

“Will you make it hurt?”

“…”

“I want it too. I think that’s what this is: want. I want to hurt Shika. Will you make it hurt?”

“I don’t love you.”

“Ah!”

“Does it hurt?”

“Do…ah ha can’t speak with the blood in my mouth. Shift me a bit would you? Th-there we go. D-do you mean it Shika?”

“I don’t love you.”

“…”

“Does it hurt? Does it hurt!”

“Enough Shikamaru, he’s dead.”

“Sasuke, do you even care that he’s dead?”

“He was a monster Shikamaru, everyone knows it. He was awake when he killed Tsunade-sama. He knew what he was doing.”

“Do. You. Care?”

“Yes. He was my teammate. Of course, I care. But he died a long time ago. That thing wasn’t Naruto, you know that. You knew Naruto better than any of us. That wasn’t him.”

“It was better than nothing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not. You’re not sorry Sasuke but that’s okay, Naruto forgave you and so will I. Because he’d want me too.”

“Katon: Kokakyu no Jutsu. It’s done Shikamaru lets go. We need to report back to Danzo-sama.”

“Why?”

“You’re a shinobi, it’s your job.”

“I loved him.”

“And you always will. He loved you too, even at the end. No matter how twisted he was, that’s why we sent you. He would have killed anyone else.”

“...”

“Does it hurt Shikamaru?”

“…I don’t know.”


End file.
